Celebrate Single-ness Preparing for The Prepared

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SINGLE-NESS: “the most important part of an original human..." whether married or unmarried.

      Every year during the month of February we see a whole lot of attention turned toward husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, and the search to find a “sweetheart”. Oddly enough, the qualities we would like in our “sweetheart”, and what we mean by “Will you be my Valentine?” is too-often skipped in Bible studies among Christian friends and family. This week, today, is the perfect time for “preparing for ‘the prepared’” and walking out the truth of “single-ness”.

         We have a faith-building nugget of wisdom that we believe will prove to be as valuable to you as it has been to our family members and ministry friends and acquaintances. You may be surprised to know that, in our 40+ years of experience, we have seen many more guys and ladies come to ask us to join with them in prayer and waiting for God to introduce them to their life-mate than those who “celebrate single-ness”.  Firstly, for anyone not familiar with us as a ministry couple, I (Keith) spent fifty-two years of my life unmarried and learning how to attain “single-ness”.

         Like many or even most unmarried individuals, we can honestly tell you it is not easy to be alone or to be patient all the time when we wait for God to answer our prayers.  For me (Keith), some weeks I prayed every day asking God to reveal my mate to me. Some weeks I prayed for God to introduce her to me at certain ministry events or church services. I often walked in quietly wondering, "Is 'she' going to be here?" I couldn't even tell you how many well-meaning people would come up to me to say things like, "God must be preparing a really amazing girl for you" or "Don’t worry because, when you finally meet her, you’ll just know she’s 'the one'!"

         Week after week, month after month, year after year, and decade after decade, I couldn't seem to silence the voices in my head although I lived an active, busy life that was not really consumed with "finding her".  No matter where I went, like a pesky little brother that your mom makes you take along with you wherever you want to go, those annoying voices would sound off asking questions like, "Is she here?… Is she?  Is she??"  Each time the voices started up again, I thought to myself, "If I could just get my hands on those loud rascals... !"

         There I was, a minister at a great church, a dream football career, a dream music career that led me to start The Keith Shealy Band for touring and recording my own songs, a great group of young adults learning to lead like Jesus,... I could go on and on. I was the guy who, people so-often said, "had it all together". Little did they know that, because all of my friends were married, I spent years eating alone in restaurants, coming home from the Church alone, watching Sunday afternoon football games alone, and doing everything I could think of to help to silence the deafening screams of loneliness. I would all-but beg God to tell me what it was that was wrong with me so I could change it. All I wanted was for God to help prepare me for meeting the lady I was praying for.

         Well, the day came when I just knew I finally had a plan that would silence those voices of loneliness.  I decided I would out-smart the voices by convincing myself that I was born without 'the marriage gene'! I thought to myself that t-h-a-t will surely shut those voices down.

         I admit, to my disappointment, my plan did not work at all. Just like every other thing I tried doing “on my own” I had no success to speak of. The voices continued.

         By the time I turned forty years old, I knew that those voices won't just shut up. That’s when I finally decided to drown 'em out with God's written Word!  That was the very BEST decision I had ever made in my life up to that point!!

         I began to seek God and meditate on His written and spoken Word, and with great diligence like never before.  It was only then that the volume of those voices, which I knew were not God’s, lowered... From deafening, to annoying, to tolerable-like whispers, at least for the most part.

         Finally, I learned that "I" had to stop dwelling on things that were not of God... like most TV shows. I finally stopped to realize how destructive and suggestive most prime-time television programs had become. I knew that I had to do something about that. So, I called the cable company and canceled my TV cable!

         Now, turning off my TV became the first of five steps to become tried-and-proven disciplines, five key things that The Holy Spirit used to teach me what being truly single means. If you want God's blessing of a life-mate like only He can bring, you will learn and follow these five steps, below. These practical steps will work for you, and anyone who seeks a blessed Life-mate, if practiced in faith. Here’s your plan to start today, right now... and to make, as your Life-goal, preparing for the prepared you are praying for and to, in turn, “Celebrate Single-ness!”

1)   Turn off the TV!  If you look to Hollywood to set your expectations for a mate, loneliness will remain your companion.  Recognize that unreal, or unreasonable, expectations rob us from, not only our peace but, every good thing Jesus Christ wants us to have.  Having said that, I am in no way suggesting that you, or any individual, compromise yourself by settling for someone who you know doesn’t go after God, doesn’t love God wholeheartedly, or doesn’t want to know God’s Word,Will, and Ways.  Besides, marriage is God’s original idea, not man's idea. And it will NOT function correctly with-out (on the outside of) God and His Word.  ~Never forget:  WithOUT GOD... it is NOT Holy Matrimony.~

2)   YOU cannot "FIX 'em"!  If you think you can change someone, you are deceived. Brace yourself for a tumultuous ride.  Only Christ Jesus has the power to change a human heart.  Marriage is not a 50/50 arrangement; it's a 100/100 commitment.  So, relax!  Trust God to introduce you to "a God-blessed possibility."  We must warn you, however, to beware of someone attempting to win your affection with words like, "But I am a Christian." Take time to "watch" for "the fruit" of their life!  Standing in a church building on Sunday or Wednesday makes someone a Christian about as much as your standing in a garage makes you a car.  As a safeguard for us, Jesus teaches in Matthew 7:15-20, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.  You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles?  Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Therefore by their fruits you will know them."

3)   Prepare for what you are praying for. We do NOT want to meet the prepared... unprepared.  Diligently seek God.  Become the kind of person that you've been asking God to bring to you.  Be passionate about, and in love with, God and His Word, His Will, and His Ways.  And do everything as God and His Word tells us to... ‘F’ully ‘R’ely ‘O’n ‘G’od (FROG).  Be sure you take a look in the mirror.  Do you dress, and carry yourself, with the same quality and dignity that you expect in your life-mate?  If not, you can change it!  Remember, it’s all about achieving “single-ness” by “preparing for ‘the prepared’”. Otherwise: it’s “insanity” that does the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. Good news… *You can't BE something you're NOT, but you can BECOME something you're NOT.* 

4)   In the wisdom of the late Dr. Myles Munroe, "You don't get married because you NEED to; You get married because you WANT to!  And you'll never have ‘the want-to' until you don't have ‘the need-to'."

5)   Finally, in many of our churches today, the word "single" is synonymous with "unmarried."  That is, in fact, a very deceptive, demonic revelation.  The truth is, in order for a person to achieve "single-ness” there is a process by which he or she becomes a "Separate, Unique, and Whole" person! That is a “truly single” individual, whether married or unmarried.  "Single-ness" is a crucially important part of a human being and it must be “pursued”! In order for an individual to qualify in “single-ness”, being “the prepared” for marriage, he or she must first become "Separate, Unique, and Whole"!  That means, a person should never consider getting married until they have become truly single first.  Only one who becomes "truly single" can qualify as “the prepared” for marriage.  Becoming "truly single" can only be achieved through Jesus Christ by the tutelage and leading of The Holy Spirit.  We cannot do it without Him.   Becoming "Separate, Unique, and Whole" should be the goal; not "becoming married."  

         About twelve years after God and I walked together “preparing for 'the prepared'", God introduced me to Brenda on the wonder-full SuperBowl Sunday of 2008! From that day on, Bren and I both “Celebrate SINGLE-ness.”  In fact, the more "single" each of us has become, the sweeter our marriage has become, experiencing more blessed fruit of God's Holy Spirit with each passing year... “But the fruit of The Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23).”

         Love, hope, joy, and fulfillment comes with single-ness, along with so much more i-n God. We have received countless gifts and blessings from The LORD... from our 2 1/2 year courtship, to our wedding “in Holy Matrimony” by Pastors Clay and Dee Davis who have spiritually covered me since 1979, to our life-long prayers, hopes, and dreams coming true in our lives, even to this day.

         Before any of us can be truly ready for marriage, we must first achieve "single-ness." Only becoming successful at "single-ness" prepares us for success in marriage. “Being Separate, Unique, and Whole" is the goal... not just to be married.

         Relax and trust The LORD, He is our Rest! Release any and all unreal or unreasonable expectations... of marriage, God, and others. When we make that first, and each consecutive, step toward Him Who fashioned us, He reaches back and works *with* us, "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you… (James 4:8)." Concerning the popular belief that God chooses your mate for you, there's a quote from the late Dr. Myles Munroe to clear that misled idea right up... "God knows, better than anyone, how we often change our minds, so he won’t choose our mate for us in order that we can’t blame Him for a mate we later decide was a bad choice." Instead, He will put someone 'on display' for you and leave you with your will to make your own choice. ~Once you daily pursue ONEness with God, your wisdom and understanding *in Him* changes everything! Your focus on working *with God* will lead you beyond your greatest expectations! Watch and see!!!"~

"SEPARATE": SET-APART from everyone else  **Created by God as the one-of-a-kind, Designer-made, individual YOU!**

"UNIQUE":  DISTINCT from everybody else  **Needing no-thing and no-body in order to feel valued!**

"WHOLE":  100% COMPLETE all by yourself  **What lies behind and what lies ahead changes by what lies within! **

         Always remember that, no matter what we've done or where we've been in this life, our dreams for a loving marriage we have carried from the time of our childhood can and will only be fulfilled by God, The Author and Proprietor of Marriage, Himself... if we will believe and trust in Him.

Your friends and servants in Christ Jesus,

     ...and the entire Team of Toward The Mark, Inc.

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To Show GOD BIG in a World that Sees Him small…  sums up the reason Keith stepped out in faith to focus on reaching the lost and strengthening believers everywhere, through Toward The Mark, Inc.  Keith and Brenda's prayer is that you will be encouraged and edified by the Secrets from God's Word shared through written and recorded accounts. The complete collection of original podcasts, music, teaching letters, books, CDs, and other resources of Toward The Mark are made possible by the prayers and financial gifts of the TTM Family of monthly supporters.  We'd like to welcome you onboard TODAY!

We INVITE You ... to follow and share more resources we have available for helping build your faith in God, His Word, His Will, and His Ways:

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~  "Keith & Brenda Lee Shealy's Toward The Mark" on Rumble 

      

~  "TTM Singing Sergeant" on Twitter

       

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~  "Toward The Mark video testimonies" on Brighteon 

      

  To help you further your fight to victory through the battles that confront every one of us in these turbulent times we live in, get your copy of our book, " LETTERS FROM THE FRONT." In this collection of 12 letters written from the front lines of battle fought in the spiritual, natural, and theater of the mind, Keith's Scripture messages will build your faith and help you reach God's full potential for your life.
"LETTERS FROM THE FRONT"
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It's the Greatest Miracle You'll Ever See--when Christ Redeems your Shattered Dream!

       From the young age of 8 years old, I was passionately consumed with football.  I would play every chance I got, whether with a team for practice, in organized team games, or for fun in a field with friends.  I loved the sport so much that, some nights, I fell asleep with my football in my arms.  My mom would tell me how she would come in my room and take the ball out of my bed while I slept.  I even dreamed about football more than anything else, hoping and dreaming to, one day, be able to play on a college team.

When I got to college, I went through the grueling program to try out for the team and, by the grace of God, I got through all the cuts, and made a position on the team roster.  The entire process, for me, was terribly difficult - struggling to get enough air in my lungs during uphill runs, taking body blows from guys stronger than me and twice my size, and staying pin-point focused on giving 110% to getting my body into better shape - something that seemed to require much more effort for me than it did for other players.  What I didn't know at the time, and found out only in very recent years, was that I had underdeveloped lungs and asthma from the time I was born.  I'm glad now that I didn't know this back then, when my heart was stayed on fulfilling my childhood dream, even if throwing up blood and fighting to overcome oxygen deprivation would be an endless cost I would have to pay.

During the course of football season as a freshman, I endured a concussion and various injuries, none of which were uncommon for players at the college level.  Then, I got what I thought was a pulled muscle in my lower back.  Instead of getting better as I expected, it kept getting worse.  It got really bad in the end, during the last few practices and games.  The pain was excruciating and, every time it would swell, the trainer would put me in the ice barrel and have me sit there while he would shovel ice over my back.  I was constantly having to go in there.  The good news was, we finished the year with an undefeated record, won the final game 83 to 3, and were awarded the national college champion- ship title for our division.  We were elated and having a blast!  The bad news news was, after I went to the hospital and had various medical tests and x-rays, it turned out that I had been playing with a broken back.  I couldn't believe it when I saw the film from the MRI and heard the doctor say, "Keith, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but, if you suit up again to play football, there's a good chance that your next collision in the game may lead you to never walk again.  Son, your football career is over."  All of a sudden, I was confronted with a heartbreaking reality that the game I loved more than anything else in life, at the time, was no longer an option for me.  I immediately left the hospital, went back to the empty football stadium, walked onto the middle of the field, and collapsed in tears.  My hopes and dreams of playing in the next season of college were just, suddenly, gone.

I decided not to continue in college.  So, I packed up all of my things and drove back to where I lived during high school.  I remember I just felt numb after that, for a long time.

      After going through that season of depression, realizing how easily our entire identity can unexpectedly be stripped from us when we become wrapped up in one specific profession, I accepted the fact that I needed to let go of my shattered dream and refocus.  It was then that I realized how important it is to have a "back-up profession" just in case of a situation like I now found myself in.  For me, I was a drummer, and playing rock-n-roll music was the one thing I loved, next to football.  So I got together with some buddies I had played with in bands during high school, and I threw all of my passion into building on my music career... my second love.

As the result of my playing in local clubs, parties, etc. with a few DC-area rock bands over that next year, I began to develop a driving passion to do whatever it would take for me to progress to the next level in music, and earn a place in a full-time "touring" rock band.  I didn't know it at the time, but my music career, along with all that I had already been through, is what God would eventually use as the platform for my ministry.

After winning a spot with a full-time secular rock band, it didn't take me but a few years of being on the road until, I became disillusioned by that dead-end way of life.  One night, when I finally had a "gut full" of the rock-n-roll lifestyle and everything that went with it, I went to my hotel room instead of going to where the rest of the band members were partying, next door.  That was the night that I fell on my face before God, and I prayed and asked Jesus Christ into my heart to be the Lord and Savior of my life.  I had prayed for salvation as a boy, when I was eight years old, but this time I was praying to commit my whole life, and everything in me, to Christ that night.  Then, I prayed for a second request that I just K-N-E-W was so big that it would be impossible, even for God, to fulfill.  I asked to be the drummer of a "British Christian Rock band."  Ever since I was a kid, more than any other music, I loved rock-n-roll music that popular British Rock musicians and bands where known for!  I wanted to represent Christ in my music and, although I never heard of any "Christian Rock" band before, let alone "British Christian Rock" band, my dream gig would be to join a group just like that.

As a result of my "impossible" prayer request, I experienced a series of miracles that led me to the first-ever British Christian Rock group to come to America, "The Alwyn Wall Band" from London, England.  God did it!  He answered my impossible prayer request... and p-e-r-f-e-c-t-l-y.

Playing music and praising God on the road with Alwyn and the rest of the guys was a tremendous privilege and joy; we became like family, a band of Brothers in Christ, and always on the go.  Over the next year and a half of our touring the country, I began to have a strong desire to put down some roots.  We were meeting one tight-knit church group after another, joining them just long enough to play a concert or two, then we were hitting the road again to go to the next city and state.  I began to have the desire to belong to a Christian community and church family I could call my own.

What God was about to do next would redeem all of my constant moving from city to city, my playing music for all kinds of crowds (many who would never grace the building of a church), and my living in hotel rooms in locations where I had no ties.  He was preparing me to, soon, move from city to city to help Pastors establish new churches.  It all would soon come together like a well-made plan, despite me and as only God can.

Long story short, the passports, that Alwyn and the others had, were just months from expiring, meaning they would have to return to England or apply for American citizenship.  They would have no choice but to plan for their return home.  At that same proximity of time, I received a request to perform a founding role in a new church plant, that would lead to another new church plant, then another, and a fourth one, all of which would mean moving to four different cities within an 11-year period.

Each time I accepted an invitation, I gave up jobs, friends, physicians, vehicle mechanics, and many other things that I had to work very hard to establish each time at each location.  Every move, I would wonder if this one would be my last.

In 1991, all the moves, meetings, developing new friends and community support, and giving everything I had to help build the new churches began to weigh heavily on me.  I was growing more fatigued each day and, if you have ever suffered from fatigue, you know that it can evolve rapidly into debilitating depression if you aren't careful.  It takes a whole lot, sometime, to keep it in check and under control.

As a result of the intensity of what I was going through, I remember so clearly being overcome with it all, and laying in the floor, calling out to God for clarity.

It was then that I heard Him whisper to me saying, "Open your Bible to the maps that are in the back of the book."  When I did that, He whispered to me, "Now go to the map that says 'Paul's journey of evangelism'."  When I saw the map marking all of the places where Paul had gone to, for the sake of the Gospel of Christ, I began to weep.  I was immediately overcome with God's peace!  For the first time, I was made aware -by God Himself- that my life's path was laid out just as He had directed, even through those times when I wondered.  God had been leading me, all the way, on a journey of evangelism - just as He had done with Paul 2000 years ago.

Prophesy!

Just about a month after God provided me with His revelation about my life journey, He led me here to Hampton Roads, Virginia where He would bless me with something I had never been able to enjoy before - laying down "roots."  Finally, I had a home, a place where I would build long-term friendship circles, meet new folks who came to town to visit my community, find great contractors, mechanics, doctors, and all of the rest of what it takes to make a place "home."

Confirmation!

Just weeks after I began to settle into my new "home", I attended a prayer meeting with a new pastor friend, and several other Christian brothers I was getting to know.  We had been in prayer for about half an hour when my pastor friend raised up, looked over at me, and said that God had just given him a vision that he was supposed to share with me in the meeting, right then.  Of course, when someone says something like that to you, especially someone who you have recently met and have barely gotten to know, you tend to get a little uneasy.  However, knowing that I had not shared anything of my past travels, participation in church plants, or anything else of my history with him, and discerning that he was a wonderful and trustworthy man of God, I agreed that it was okay to share it.  The vision God gave him is one I think about often, and it went like this...

My pastor friend said that he was hovering above a hot, arid, windy desert.  When he looked straight down on the desert below him, he saw a fellow with a shovel digging a ditch about six feet wide and five feet deep.  He said it was amazing to watch as the man was diligently digging one shovel-full of sand after another, tossing each one up onto the sides of the ditch.  He went on to say that he watched this for quite a while before he saw a 3-foot-deep wall of water filling in the ditch behind the man, and following him at a distance of about 10 feet behind him as he dug.  He continued by saying how he began to notice the banks on both sides of the ditch gradually soaking up the water as it filled in behind the man digging.

The pastor said that, all of a sudden, he was being raised up even higher into the air, allowing him to have an even better "bird's-eye view" of the desert.  As soon as he looked down from this new height, he said that the ditch he had been watching the man dig went on continuously for miles and miles, curving and turning in a way that it didn't have any orderly fashion, or resemblance of form or definitive direction.  It was just "snaking" all across the desert, nonstop.  He said he also noticed that there were very few straight sections the man dug along the way but it was curved, all over the place.

What he said next was glorious!  He asked me, "Do you remember the water that was filling in behind the man as he dug?"  I said, "Yes."  He said, "Well, as the banks of the ditch became saturated with the gently, but constantly, flowing water it was soaking up, those banks began to yield countless plants, beautiful fruit trees, colorful bushes, and super-healthy vegetation of all kinds - all of them containing nourishment and healing that people needed as they lived there.  Most of the plants that I saw growing, with my own eyes, were varieties of plant life that were not familiar to me as anything I recognized or had ever seen anywhere on earth before.  They were growing and spreading all around.  All the while, every single plant was being fed by the pure water that filled the ditch as the man dug."

The next thing the pastor told me was how he saw people, looking like they were dying of thirst and malnutrition, begin to come from out of nowhere and start running to the banks of the ditch.  Their faces began to have expressions of joy, peace, and happiness.  "The scene was absolutely beautiful beyond words," he said.  The desert began filling up with the nourishing fruit and vegetable plants, and lots of healthy vegetation, and trees that gave shade to allow everyone who came to get out of the hot, scorching sun.

As all of this was happening, the pastor said he watched everyone as they got to the trees and water, and was struck by how they began laughing, skipping, and praising God!  Then, he said, "I felt myself beginning to descend from the heights where I had been.  As I was floating further from the sky, going gently toward the ground, I was also drawing closer to where the man was as he was digging.  His back was all I could see as he was digging, facing away from me.  When I got about ten feet from the man's back, all at once, he stood up and turned around.  That's when I saw that, Keith... IT WAS YOU!"

      The reason we are sharing this message, is in hopes that, something we have gone through, or are going through now, will encourage you to continue to persevere and "press Toward The Mark."  There's no coincidence that we've named this ministry Toward The Mark, Inc., based on the Scripture passage in Philippians 3.  This life on earth is a race, not a wedding dress room.  Keep running!  We want to emphasize to you, today, to KEEP ON GOING!  There's nothing worth you giving up.  Keep fighting!  Stay on the battlefield and in the fight!  Philippians 3:13-14, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.“

We would like to close with these words from Paul, from 2 Timothy 4:5-8, “But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.  For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.  I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:  Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.“

Thank you for staying connected with us, and following our blog every month throughout the year!  We appreciate you and pray you enjoy a wonderfully blessed week!  IN Christ Jesus,

Read and Re-read Blog:  It's the GREATEST MIRACLE You'll Ever See

To Show GOD BIG in a World that Sees Him small…  sums up the reason Keith stepped out in faith to focus on reaching the lost and strengthening believers everywhere, through Toward The Mark, Inc.  Keith and Brenda's prayer is that you will be encouraged and edified by the Secrets from God's Word that Keith recounts in our written and recorded products.  The complete collection of original podcasts, music, blogs, books, CDs, and other resources of Toward The Mark, Inc. are made possible by the prayer and financial contributions of the TTM Support Family.  We'd like to welcome you onboard TODAY!

We INVITE YOU to...  take advantage of our other Scripture-based tools to help as “We Press Toward the Mark…” of becoming "one" with our Heavenly Father:

~ "Keith Shealy & Toward The Mark" on Facebook

~  Keith Shealy's "Between The Lines" Podcast on Libsyn

~ "Sharing with you the Secrets God Whispers to me" teachings on our website 

CLICK HERE to make a secure tax-deductible contribution to help Toward The Mark, Inc. 
*Every gift you send helps, and we thank you for it!

Mail tax-deductible check donations made out to "Toward The Mark, Inc." to: P.O. Box 1152, Yorktown, VA 23692-1152.